Author Archives: john tyte

Wanted: a Bank Holiday brand image

Forty riotous ten-year-olds are crowded, without seat belts, on to half a dozen benches balanced perilously on the back of a speeding lorry.  The tottering cargo careers through the streets in reckless convoy with similar precarious loads of infants.  They’re … Continue reading

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And now, the hole story …

The ground is opening up throughout the country.  Last week a hole appeared in the central reservation of the M2 in Kent.  As a result, traffic was diverted past thatched cottages, barns and oasthouses near Canterbury, causing the biggest bottleneck … Continue reading

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A moustache for the dog. Of course!

Well, that’s one Christmas gift problem solved. Now for some other essentials … It’s been a busy few weeks, you see. Got married,  survived the great flood, and now, before I’ve had a chance to gather my thoughts, it’s practically … Continue reading

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Royal Mail becomes PostModern

My dog’s confused about the Royal Mail flotation. He’s always hated the postman. Anyone who shoves final demands through the letterbox  is to be strongly discouraged, and I’m with him there. But our postman’s a lovely chap, and while he’s … Continue reading

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And you should see the mess at the next gate …

If dogs could read we could just leave instructions for them around the place. The danger lies in the mixed message.  This one would raise an almighty stink at the next entrance down. Yesterday, a short walk around the neighbourhood reminded … Continue reading

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Every business is a shop. And what does every shop need?

Imagine this: You’re a shopkeeper. Times are hard and you’re desperate for turnover. You’ve got things you need to sell. So what do you do? You put them in your shop window, of course.  Obvious, eh? Well, not to everybody.  … Continue reading

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You can’t tell a toff from an oik this afternoon

Nobody’s wearing a suit in Canterbury today. I’m writing at a cafe table on the High Street and watching a steady procession of what appear to be holidaymakers. But surely not every passer-by is on hols right now. Some of … Continue reading

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Four fantastic, amazing ways to be incredible

Online advertising’s showing all the babyish characteristics of print and TV advertising before they grew up.  Which is very reassuring to those of us who come from those media worlds.  We feel we’ve been here before, we feel comfortable and … Continue reading

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The birth of a genius.

Now I get it. I’m a master of modern marketing. I’m the meister of the zeitgeist.  I have The Power. And I didn’t realise it. I thought I was just unlucky. You see, right now I’m destroying everything around me. … Continue reading

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Getting plastered makes you cleverer.

No – not a tribute to the therapeutic powers of alcohol. Sadly, nothing to do with a good night out. The fact is, I’ve been legless – or lacking one effective leg – for over a week now. Two Saturdays … Continue reading

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